If you don’t have a Valentine this year, we’re here to help you out so that by this time next year, you won’t have to pay any attention to our ideas. The only requirement for this self-guided tour is that you need to go with another person. That is the entire point of this. By the end of this short guide, you will be able to know whether or not you are totally compatible. Ready?

Group 8 by Marlene McCarty seems like a good place to get started. It’s in John Waters’ Absentee Landlord and it’s both suggestive and strange enough to really start a spark or provoke some discussion. Maybe it’s too early to talk about whether or not you want (gorilla) babies or if you want to keep seeing other people (or primates), but perhaps your date will be provoked by this work to say something one way or the other. Then you’ll know!

Wander over to Yves Klein’s Suaire de Mondo Cane. Does your date suggest that it might be fun to create a piece like this on a future outing? Is your date serious? You will probably have a positive or negative reaction. Hold on to that.

Admire the installation wall of Frank Gaard: Poison & Candy. On the left, there’s a painting called A Map of My Pathetic Career on Panties. We imagine there’s probably something to talk about there.
Why don’t you stop by the Garden Café and grab a drink and a chocolate cheesecake? This might be a nice time to process some of what you’ve seen and find out if you can get along in environments other than a gallery.

Now this is romantic. Stand close together and peer through the dots of Yayoi Kusama’s sculpture in Midnight Party. Awwwww look! You can see hundreds of reflections of you two together! A sign of things to come? Snap a photo and cherish it. This is where it all began.

End the date by heading out to James Turrell’s Sky Pesher, 2005 on the hill behind the Walker. There, you can sit on the benches, cuddle up, and gaze up at the sky, contemplating the extraordinary and contemplating your feelings. As an added bonus, the seats are heated. As a warning, there are security cameras installed.
Well, by now you probably know whether or not you’ll ever want to see each other again. You’re welcome for the help. We accept baked goods and also tips. Happy Valentine’s Day!
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